Tolkien Tuesday: Writing Compelling Dialogue and the Voice of Saruman
Have you ever been through most of a day without talking?
You randomly talk at 3 in the afternoon and realize, as you croak out the first word of a sentence, that you haven’t spoken since cursing your alarm clock.
It’s such a weird feeling! Like old organ pipes blowing out dust before the first note.
But the rarity proves just how used to talking we are. We have conversations all the time.
In fact, we talk so much that it’s hard to find sources that agree on how many words we speak a day. Which is how I wanted to open this article! Stupid sketchy internet sources.
But it’s somewhere between 7,000 to 30,000 words, which is kind of a big difference, but still. That puts us around 800,000,000 words by the end of our lives.
You would think, with those kinds of numbers and experience, writing dialogue would be no problem.
But writing good conversations is kind of a pain in the ass.
It’s rigid, easy to get distracted by formatting, and often ends up feeling unnatural.
And a lot of those problems are because we approach dialogue as a necessary evil in writing. We think we want to get to the action, the mystery, the twists, and the pivotal moments that rarely come through in the dialogue. Right?
So we end up with boring info-dump dialogue, existing merely to get us to the fun stuff later.
But compelling dialogue does so much more.
As proven by J.R.R. Tolkien
How to write exciting dialogue (modeled by wizards)
Let’s dive into a chapter in The Two Towers called “The Voice of Saruman.”
I’m going to be honest, the first time I read through the Lord of the Rings in high school, I didn’t pay much attention to this chapter.
It was just boring dialogue, am I right? Like the Council of Elrond–vast amounts of information I need to get through just so I can get to more cutting off orc heads! Come on!
And, wow, was I wrong. Classics like Lord of the Rings stick around generation after generation because they don’t only appeal to the high schooler that wants siege weapons, valiant cavalry charges, and Aragorn choppin’ wood.
The classic stories go deeper. That’s what’s going on in “The Voice of Saruman.”
Dialogue is a chance to do a few things all at the same time:
Dialogue builds tension one sentence, or word, at a time
It reveals characterization through the conversation
And it continues to build upon the underlying themes in the story
Every sentence in your story should have a purpose. If it doesn’t drive the plot in some way, it should be cut.
Dialogue is no different.
So how does Tolkien set the stage to deliver tension, characterization, and theme? By having opposing forces finally come face to face with each other.
Let’s set the stage real quick.
Rohan and Theoden King have repelled the attack on Helm’s Deep. Uruk-hai have burned farmland, destroyed villages, and nearly conquered Rohan. Now, Saruman has had a taste of his own medicine that his orcs have unleashed upon the land.
Defeated, Saruman has barricaded himself in Orthanc, his tower fortress of wizartude.
Theoden gets to finally face his enemy Saruman. And Gandalf gets to finally stop the schemes of Saruman and sees him for the first time since being his prisoner.
So, yeah, there are a few things to discuss.
Dialogue should build tension
Again, if your dialogue isn’t moving the plot, what is it doing in there?
As Gandalf, Theoden, and the other heroes approach Saruman, all we know is that he is a powerful wizard. He’s been entirely in the background, moving his dark plans forward against our heroes. We finally get to see him firsthand.
We assume that he will be this purely evil thing crawling out of the pit of his fortress, twisted by Sauron.
And that’s exactly what Tolkien wants us to think. Part of being a good writer is knowing the reader’s expectations. You can play on them–or in cases like this–take a hard left turn away from where the reader thought things would go.
At least at first.
Saruman appears before the heroes as a beaten old man, pitiable and frail.
“Well?” [Saruman] said now with gentle question. “Why must you disturb my rest? Will you give me no peace at all by night or day?”
Then Tolkien adds just enough description for us to get a good idea of what this sounds like.
[Saruman’s] tone was that of a kindly heart aggrieved by injuries undeserved.
Uh oh.
Right away, a reader can feel where the tension is heading. Here we have someone we know is evil, but he’s already playing the victim.
Yeah…he doesn’t look evil now that you mention it. Not at all
Saruman continues by saying he hopes that Gandalf has come seeking more counsel from him, although he fears that isn’t the case. Then he says that he’s been hoping to see Theoden but not like this. Not after war and death have been brought to his doorstep.
Saruman says:
“Why have you not come before, and as a friend? Much have I desired to see you, mightiest king of western lands, and especially in these latter years, to save you from the unwise and evil counsels that beset you! Is it yet too late?”
We can see what he’s trying to do. Calling Theoden a friend and hoping to steer him on the right path is a ploy to come off as kind. And that sense of urgency at the end...now that’s just good copywriting Saruman!
Theoden doesn’t respond. He opens his mouth to speak but is obviously at a loss for words against this unforeseen start to the conversation.
This scene is so well done as Saruman avoids blame for the war between he and Rohan, we the reader are almost convinced this was all a misunderstanding.
But that’s not what Tolkien is trying to do, ultimately. He is building tension between what we know is true, and what the characters will perceive as the truth.
Will Theoden be convinced that this was a mistake? His soldiers are already beginning to see Saruman as a wise friend as the conversation goes on. It makes us anxious as we read.
And it’s at the perfect time. Because this is the field of victory, remember? Our heroes are in front of a beaten foe after a whole hell of a lot of fighting. There’s even salted pork!
We are supposed to feel safe. And that is used against us.
It’s the unknown that builds tension. We thought this was going to be a simple clean up after a battle, and maybe the heroes would even get to gloat. But we find them instantly on the defensive.
Was this wise speaking with him? Who will succumb to this spell? Is there no safe place against evil, even in victory?
That tension crawls up our spine as we read.
That’s precisely what you want to do in your story too. When swords and shields are put away, there can still be plenty of action in dialogue.
Dialogue should reveal character
Through that tension, we should start to see a character’s true personality.
Dialogue gives us such a unique way to explore our characters.
A character can lie, manipulate, say things they shouldn’t, stay silent when they should speak, pretend to be something they aren’t, finally reveal their confidence, tell us their perspective on something we’ve seen earlier in the story, and so much more.
When we weave dialogue purposefully in a story, the characters aren’t just names on the page. They come alive.
In the “Voice of Saruman” chapter, we get a glimpse at Saruman’s deceitful, cunning character. This isn’t because Tolkien says, “Saruman is, like, super bad and is trying to lie to everyone and stuff.”
I know...flawless impersonation.
Tolkien reveals Saruman’s character through the conversation. We know what’s been happening in the story. The way Saruman twists it is all we need to know about who he is.
Show, don’t tell.
He says:
“But my lord of Rohan, am I to be called a murderer, because valiant men have fallen in battle? If you go to war, needlessly, for I did not desire it, then men will be slain.”
Saruman even tries to place blame on Rohan for their own fallen soldiers. He weaves a different narrative altogether. He uses Rohan’s desperation for peace as a platform to seem peaceful.
Even though we know otherwise.
Pictured: The Uruk-hai peace summit of TA 3019
And when things don’t keep going his way in the conversation, Saruman resorts to insults to discredit any opposition.
(...this is getting a little real, isn’t it?)
My favorite is Saruman’s rebuttal to Eomer, who is trying to keep Theoden from falling for this crap.
“Valour in arms is yours, and you win high honour thereby. Slay whom your lord names as enemies, and be content. Meddle not in policies which you do not understand. But maybe, if you become a king, you will find that he must choose his friends with care.”
A few things are going on here.
First, yeah, Eomer won the battle of arms. Great. Saruman belittles this achievement, saying Eomer is an unthinking killing machine. He shouldn’t speak on things he doesn’t know anything about.
Jeez...talk about manipulation. Saruman can even take the importance of victory away from Rohan. Later, he also tries to sow distrust between Rohan and the Ents, saying they can’t be relied on for the continuing war.
We see so much in Saruman here. A use of fear, playing on Rohan’s mistrust of things outside their comfort zone, like Ents, and cunning so deep we can almost see the logic.
He’s essentially calling Eomer a dumb meat-head. Damn dude.
But something else is subtly revealed. And surely Theoden didn’t miss it.
Saruman says that someday Eomer may be a king.
Interesting. Eomer isn’t lined up to be a king. At least, not to Saruman.
It’s Theoden’s son that will be king. Or would be if he wasn’t dead. Saruman’s forces killed him, and there’s a quick reveal that Saruman knows that.
It’s not easy getting that into dialogue, but that’s why Tolkien has Saruman talk to multiple people. There’s plenty of character to reveal.
Especially in Gandalf.
Dialogue should strengthen the themes of your story
As the conversation goes on, Saruman tries to make it seem like all of them are actually on the same side. By defying him, they are making a big mistake and going down a path into darkness. He wants to save them.
Suddenly Saruman is the urgent savior.
But Theoden sees through the lies. And Gandalf doesn’t try to convince him. He instead wants Theoden to make his own choices in this conversation.
And it’s the perfect way to see how to shape a character through things that aren’t said. And, at the same time, dive into one of the overall themes of the story.
Control.
Sauron wants to control the world for his own evil ends.
Saruman wants to control Rohan and the free peoples, thinking it’s the only way to defeat Sauron. A means to an end (but he’s being corrupted by power and Sauron himself.)
Boromir wanted the Ring so he could control the fate of Gondor.
Control keeps coming up over and over.
And here we see Saruman trying to control the hearts of Theoden and his soldiers.
All while we know that Gandalf has become more powerful than ever. Yet he waits. He doesn’t want Theoden to be forced into anything. It’s a risky, but trust-building move.
If Theoden stands up to Saruman on his own, he really is free from corruption.
Gandalf has always been wary of forcing things. He denies himself the chance at using the Ring to give him more power. He knows he can’t control that. A temptation that Saruman gave in to.
And now Saruman is trying to force things into being. The wizards are meant to be guides, not lords. That’s what Gandalf knows and stays true to.
But he also is confident to show just how powerful he is.
Ok Gandalf, ok! It’s a cool party trick but you gotta stop!
We see Gandalf choosing to reveal his power only at the end of the conversation to allow Saruman a chance at redemption. Allow Theoden to deny evil on his own. And let everyone get a glimpse at the cunning ways of the enemy for themselves.
And Gandalf isn’t free of Saruman’s attempts at temptation:
“But you, Gandalf! For you at least I am grieved, feeling for your shame. How comes it that you can endure such company?”
Saruman, seeing he has failed to get Rohan on his side, insults them instead. He knows that wizards are something more powerful than anything else Rohan has to offer. He reminds Gandalf that together they can become powerful enough to control the situation.
And those that hear this believe it. We get to see, through dialogue, that the wizards have the power to do almost whatever they want.
They can control those around them, like Saruman has, and wield a power that people fear.
Yet, Gandalf doesn’t give in to this. He doesn’t go to team up with Saruman and take control of Rohan, Gondor, and anyone else directly. Though it might seem like wisdom, that kind of power to control corrupts.
So he chooses freedom. And we see a powerful new view on the theme.
All from dialogue.
Utilizing compelling dialogue in your story
So what does this mean for you?
The first thing you need to do when you write dialogue is ask yourself:
Does it create tension to drive the plot?
Does it dig deeper into the characters for my reader?
Does it explore the themes of the story more?
If it does none of those things, you can safely bet that it doesn’t belong. Better yet, it should do many of these, or all, at once.
If dialogue delivers a stream of information without pushing the plot forward besides revealing lore, it’s going to be boring.
I know that because I love building more background to my world and characters than could ever be revealed in a story. It’s tempting to force ways to get that in. And dialogue can provide a seemingly good way to do it.
But it ends up putting your reader to sleep.
Instead, think of dialogue the way you think of action scenes. There should be tension and revelation that play into the meaning of the story.
Characters go back and forth to get the upper hand or convince the other of something. Their personalities should be built up along the way.
And the reader keeps turning the pages because they aren’t even thinking about the dialogue, but where the story is going as a whole.
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